So there are three days until I am going to be healthy. The current situation with my mother is that I am not going to let her see me eat anything, because then she wins. I had been maintaining for a while and her friend is just like i was going to continue to do this until she leaves me alone, because she understands that i know and she does also. and she would lose i guess. instead i am going to continue for three more days. if she leaves me alone before then i am going to go back to normal. if she does not i am going to become a perfect angel and be REALLY nice to her, but i'm not going to speak to her unless she asks me for attention. kind of recently i realised that she can play the poor victim lady thing and be like "oo everything is so hard for my daughter does bad things to herself" or fucking whatever, and everyone will be like "oo we love you she's so troubled but its not fair to you were so sorry" like bitch its your fault im like this, youre disgusting. so if she gets distracted by something else to be dramatic about so she won't notice she lost, this is basically nothing. otherwise i have 3 days until i'm going to be healthy and normal and a cordial angel that will grant her answers to direct questions. ------- I'm kind of excited tbh I've been restricting in some way at least for a long time even if i havent been losing weight and VERY occaisionally purging. Realistically it's going to be difficult if I actually do it but I'm kind of excited? Like I could actually use it as a weapon against her instead of it being something she's trying to do to me. I retyped that sentence a bunch of times, its difficult to explain. I think its unlikely anyone will ever read this, but if you do sorry for how dumb it all is. This is basically just my diary i guess, I'm just typing words. I dont really know how to use this website even.